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- Outing Myself Unexpectedly
This is a part of my on-going NPE* story of discovering in 2015 that my Dad was not my biological Dad. If you’d like to follow along, I encourage you to start at my first post of the series HERE. People ask me what changed my mind about reaching out to my half siblings to… - What Happens Now?
This is a part of my on-going NPE story of discovering in 2015 that my Dad was not my biological Dad. If you’d like to follow along, I encourage you to start at my first post of the series HERE. What happens when the proverbial dust has settled on an NPE* discovery? The quick answer… - Cousin Kate
This is my NPE story of discovering in 2015 that my Dad was not my biological Dad. If you’d like to follow along, I encourage you to start at my first post of the series HERE. “Hello Kate, It looks like we are an estimated 2nd—3rd cousin match on our paternal lines. Would you be… - A New Medical History
I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday with a new eye doctor. I was nervous. He is a specialist. Nine years ago, at age 50, when I discovered my Dad who raised me was not my biological father, one of the realities that struck me was that half the health history I had been sharing… - Saying it out loud
“I fully expect you to say no,” my fellow *NPE friend Bill Griffeth wrote to me in a Twitter message in the fall of 2018. What he expected me to say no to was being interviewed about my NPE story. He knew what an introvert I was. But he knew from his own experience… - Losing a Tree
For several years after I found out I wasn’t my Dad’s biological daughter, I couldn’t even look at his tree anymore. It was literally a full stop. Seeing all the people I thought I came from genuinely hurt my heart. It was like breaking up with someone you love. I started doing genealogy when I… - Three things to never say to an NPE
This is my NPE story of discovering in 2015 that my Dad was not my biological Dad. If you’d like to follow along, I encourage you to start at my first post of the series HERE. When people hear my story, they all react differently. There is sympathy, most definitely. There is shock, especially if… - My New Biological Siblings
I’m asked, “What has actually changed since my DNA discovery?” Do you mean besides the whole “losing my entire identity” thing? Well, here’s one at the top of my list. I have no full siblings anymore. It’s profound, and it’s sad for me. It’s a feeling of loss that I can’t put into words. I… - Telling my Brothers and Sisters
After my mother died, I didn’t have to keep my DNA discovery secret from my brothers and sisters any longer. The thought of telling them they were Dad’s biological kids, but I wasn’t, made me so scared that it made me physically sick. Scared was a new feeling in this discovery. I also cried a… - Being Good or Being Perfect?
The other day, I listened to a podcast about *NPEs. The woman being interviewed said she started her own podcast because she wanted to take away her mom’s shame. This hit hard for me. Since I’ve gone public with my story, I’ve had this underlying defensive feeling that I haven’t been able to put my finger… - Telling the Girls
I knew that eventually, I had to tell our girls about the secret I had discovered because it also affected them. This was their DNA, too. I had made the decision not to tell my siblings until after my mother had passed away, but I felt the longer I waited to tell the girls,… - The Acceptance of Not Learning More
I wish I could tell you that now that the ice was broken between Mom and me about who my biological father was, she then shared countless stories about *Joe with me. But she really didn’t. The simple fact was that Mom was embarrassed, and frankly, she didn’t want to talk about it ever again…. - Mom and Dad’s marriage
I don’t remember my parents being married or acting like a married couple. But I didn’t understand they were divorced, either. No one told me then, thinking I was too young to understand. One of the earliest memories I have, though, is of Dad sleeping downstairs in our family room. I was about five years… - Mom’s secret is revealed
“I wasn’t ever going to tell you.” Those were Mom’s first words after I sat down with her and told her what I knew. Her words stung. It was the only time I could remember having a flash of anger towards her. Really?? One year, ten months, and six days after I sat in my… - The little shopping cart
In 1996, I was a full-time stay-at-home Mom to our three young daughters, under age 6. I turned 31 years old that year. I was lucky to be able to stay home, but it was tough sometimes, especially because my husband worked 12-14 hour days at that time. It was a trade-off for everyone involved,… - The Stranger who Became a Friend
It was September 15, 2016. I was at a breaking point because I still hadn’t told anyone my secret. I hadn’t talked with my mother about my discovery, either. I was struggling with it all. I kept setting dates in my head when I would do it, and then I would make an excuse not… - Working it Out
Surprisingly, I wasn’t anxious to find out who my biological father was because, with every passing day, I felt in my gut that I already knew who it was. I was bouncing all around through those stages of grief, and depression was a big one now. Long-forgotten memories started to slowly become conscious ones. When… - Meet My Mom
After discovering I was an NPE, I wanted to look at my mother’s life. I wanted to understand her more. My mother hated the name Martha Lee. She lived her life avoiding it whenever she could. I remember my grandmother sometimes calling her M.L. Mom felt M.L. was much better than the grating “Maaatha Lee”… - Facing Denial
I’m sure you don’t need three guesses to guess what the DNA results were to my youngest brother. His results came a few weeks after I compared with my sisters. Of course, he was a full sibling to my other brother and to my sisters. Which meant, of course, he was only a half-sibling with… - Stages of Grief Journey: Denial Part 2
I was checking the 23andMe website three or four times a day. The first results that came in were for my oldest sister. She is twelve years older than me. I decided to wait for my other sister’s results to come in so that I could look at them together. Hers came just a few… - Stages of Grief Journey: Denial Part 1
I think of those 18 months I kept this crushing secret entirely to myself as a period of complete denial fueled by panic. Besides being a world champion in compartmentalizing, I am also a master multi-tasker, so my life went on doing my routine tasks. You didn’t find me curled up in my bed, hiding… - Meet my Dad
Before I go deeper into the journey of my DNA discovery that my Dad wasn’t my biological father, I want to tell you a little bit more about my Dad. And just to clarify — when I use the word “Dad,” I am always referring to the Dad who raised me and loved me. My… - Free Falling
I stared down at my iPad and started to shake looking at the 23andMe comparison between my brother and me. Estimated relationship: Half-sibling What does it feel like to discover that you aren’t really your Dad’s child? It felt like I had been punched in the stomach and while I struggled to catch my breath,… - Testing one, two, three…
I was an early adopter of DNA testing. I took my first DNA test in December 2012 with Ancestry. I couldn’t wait to see my ethnicities! The testing pool was smaller in the early days when many folks hadn’t tested yet. Ethnicities were lumped together. My results came up with over 80% of British/Irish together…. - April 26, 2015…my new birthday
“Estimated relationship: Half-brother.” Four little words are all it took to change my entire life that night. It was the night I discovered my Dad was not my biological father. It was April 26, 2015. My husband Fred was sleeping next to me. I was sitting up in our bed with my iPad learning my… - RootsTech 2023 Photo Highlights
I didn’t realize how overwhelming it would be to be back in person again after three years. The energy was INCREDIBLE from everyone who was just so darn happy to see each other again. The classes, the Expo Hall, and the keynotes were all a great success. Enjoy my week with my photo highlights below!… - Win a #RootsTech 2023 Free Registration
I’m a #RootsTech 2023 Influencer which means not only do I get to promote and participate in this mega genealogy conference, but I get to give stuff away! I’m giving away an in-person 3-Day Pass ($98 value) to RootsTech 2023. The conference takes place March 2 -4 in Salt Lake City, Utah. RootsTech 2023 is one…
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