My New Biological Siblings

My New Biological Siblings

I’m asked, “What has actually changed since my DNA discovery?” Do you mean besides the whole “losing my entire identity” thing? Well, here’s one at the top of my list. I have no full siblings anymore. It’s profound, and it’s sad for me. It’s a feeling of loss that I can’t put into words. I…

Telling my Brothers and Sisters

Telling my Brothers and Sisters

After my mother died, I didn’t have to keep my DNA discovery secret from my brothers and sisters any longer. The thought of telling them they were Dad’s biological kids, but I wasn’t, made me so scared that it made me physically sick. Scared was a new feeling in this discovery. I also cried a…

Being Good or Being Perfect?

Being Good or Being Perfect?

The other day, I listened to a podcast about *NPEs. The woman being interviewed said she started her own podcast because she wanted to take away her mom’s shame. This hit hard for me. Since I’ve gone public with my story, I’ve had this underlying defensive feeling that I haven’t been able to put my finger…

Mom and Dad’s marriage

Mom and Dad’s marriage

I don’t remember my parents being married or acting like a married couple. But I didn’t understand they were divorced, either. No one told me then, thinking I was too young to understand. One of the earliest memories I have, though, is of Dad sleeping downstairs in our family room. I was about five years…

Mom’s secret is revealed

Mom’s secret is revealed

“I wasn’t ever going to tell you.” Those were Mom’s first words after I sat down with her and told her what I knew. Her words stung. It was the only time I could remember having a flash of anger towards her. Really?? One year, ten months, and six days after I sat in my…